Looks like Jean Chretien is going to support Mr. Bush, in his Star Wars plan, to defend North America from potential missile attacks. I'm reassured that if Saddam smuggled any scuds out of Iraq, he won't be able to unleash them on us.

This follows on the heels of the US ambassador scolding us for not joining the invasion of Iraq-by saying that the US would be there, if we needed them. Since Canada is not in the habit of invading other countries, I can only assume help would come from the US if someone invaded us.

Now I've been checking my atlas, and discover we only have two close neighbors-the US and Greenland. I can imagine US tanks rolling north across the border to defend us, should some CIA trained Narwhal report that Greenland is planning to invade, through Ellesmere Island.

It's reassuring to know our fresh water and oil reserves won't fall into 'foreign hands', because Uncle Samson will be there with the marines, to secure them.

Mr. Eves could set up a photo-op at the Rainbow Bridge-shaking hands and handing out copies of his budget, to bewildered Marine Corp Colonels.

Perhaps he'd entertain the troops with a picnic in front of the Provincial Parliament Building, now that poor people aren't allowed there anymore. And if help arrives soon, there will lots of hotel rooms for the liberators, in Toronto, since the SARS epidemic scared off the tourists.

Let's hope though there's no repeat of the scandalous activities from US soldiers that occurred when they 'liberated York from the British', in 1813. Apparently their soldiers left town with numerous books, from the local library. Perhaps while US troops are here, we can ask them to pay their over due fines.