There is a persistent Urban Myth that many of our senior citizens, who retire into poverty, supplement their meager food reserves by eating dog food. What sad things might we hear said, in some of our elderly citizen's homes, at mealtime? "What do you want for supper dear-canned or kibble?"

And I guess it's old news by now that rendered carcasses from cattle, unfit for human consumption, go into canine chow. It's scary to think that Mad Cow Disease could make its way into the human food chain, through the pet food section at the local grocery store.

Mad Cow Disease, or Bovine spongform encephalopathy (BSE) is a brain wasting condition. And as the anti-recreational substance zealots often say, 'the waste of a brain is a terrible thing'. But when the wasted brain of a certain Angus cow from Albert brought our entire food production industry into question-that's a really, really terrible thing. In fact it scares the heck out of me.

Maybe I'm emotionally vulnerable having read a lot of sci-fi books and seen more than a few flicks with alien invaders and mutant monsters. The Thing, by John Carpenter was about this creepy alien frozen in the ice in Antarctica. It thaws out and hitches a ride inside a dog, while searching for human victims. The dog of course bites the dust, as the alien rips its way out of the pup, in a particularly scary and gruesome scene.

Closer to the purely human experience, Soylent Green was a movie from 1973 staring gun fetishist Chuckie Heston. In this grim futuristic flick, Agro Biz giants have gained total control over food production, and most people survive by eating a synthetic food called Soylent Green.

At the end of the movie we discovered that Green is made by rendering the carcasses of deceased humans and re-cycling them into the food chain. It's an expedient cost saving measure designed to maximize profits and satisfy stockholders. Sound familiar?

These cinematic fictions resonate clearly with the real life cannibal story that unfolded in the news recently. It's seems for awhile we were feeding cows to other cows and the result was, as we all know, Mad Cow Disease.

Although they've stopped this practice, I've read that they still feed offal and the carcasses of cattle, unfit for human consumption, to chickens and other animals that we eat. So there is still the possibility that feed contaminated with BSE could accidentally be fed to cattle, even today.

Which brings me back to dogs. While I write this, my black Lab Lucy is under the desk sleeping. She's just had breakfast, and is having a little nap before heading out to the back yard to confront the neighborhood cat, who regularly taunts her through the fence.

Lately I've been watching her more closely for any unusual behavior anomalies. She was always a slow learner about certain social expectations-the shoe chewing thing and rolling in dead fish at the beach. Normal dog stuff I guess.

Occasionally though, at the dog park, as I watch her play, I wonder if I could have been a better master. I've been attentive and loving, yet expressed strong leadership through tough love strategies. I know she successfully mastered all the skills around bodily functions and jumping up on elderly women wearing white dresses. Although we still have some difficulty around the urge to sniff peopleyou know where.

Sometimes I worry that she's exhibiting less than optimum cognitive functioning for her peer group, in her doggy obedience class. I don't want to see her fall behind and have to repeat a lesson. I'm sure her self-esteem would suffer.

But as if a Pet Parent didn't have enough to worry about, I now find myself surfing the net for vegetarian dog food recipes, and mail order health food treats.

It scares me that our food is rebelling against us like some PLO suicide bomber, trying desperately to get our attention. The number of things to fear from the food we put in our mouths seems to grow every year. Will anorexia some day be pushed off the eating disorder list by a syndrome known just as Fear of Eating Anything.

Maybe the sky is falling-maybe it isn't. I just hope "The Little Shop of Horrors" isn't ticking away in my dog Lucy's food bowl.