PAUL CORMAN

PEDESTRIAN PLAGUE

Home
MAIN STREET SURVEILLANCE
THE BOOK BUNKER
MAIN STREET SURVEILLANCE
SUBMARINE SANDWICH
BIN LADEN CALLING
SCHOOL DAZE
THE PHONE COMPANY
THE COUCH OLYMPICS
THE NECKTIE MUSEUM
ALIEN TOURISTS
ORANGE PERIL
MARTIN IN A BUSH
GUM & BUTTS
PAUL'S BIO
NUCLEAR WAR
A FAIRY TALE
HUMILIATION TV
ROCKY RACCOON
KILLING ME
STAR WARS
TEXAS RANGER GEORGE
MORE MEAT PLEASE
ROAD RAGE
SCROOGED AGAIN: THE MOVIE
MAD DOGS
TAXING SMOKE
KILLER TOYS!
MAD COWS
YOUR OWN MARY JANE FRANCHISE
WHO'S WATCHING US NOW?
BAD BUGS FROM BURBANK
NEST OF SNAKES
PEDESTRIAN PLAGUE
U.S. or us?
WORD FROM THE COUCH
CRASH TEST
TV JUNKIE
HIGH VOLTAGE CONNECTION
THIS IS NOT THE END!
TYPECAST
POLITE CANADIANS
JUST THE TRUTH, PLEASE!
CONTACT ME

By Paul Corman

Once again the roads are becoming clear of snow and ice, making motoring a safe and convenient way to get to those important errands, like washing the car and getting the oil changed. Unfortunately there are still a large number of people who insist on walking and therefore making the roads less safe for sensible drivers.

As an example just the other day I was attempting to make a right turn on a red light, which is perfectly legal in this province. As I was about to turn, a reckless young woman attempted to bolt across the road in front of me, with her small children. She no doubt thought having the green light gave her some special privilege.

I prudently accelerated before they got to me and spun safely around the corner, narrowly avoiding a collision with her baby carriage, which would surely have caused considerable damage to my vehicle and subsequently raised my insurance rates.

Later that same day I parked on the sidewalk in front of a variety store and ran in for a pack of smokes. I came back out just as an inconsiderate pedestrian brushed up against my car bending the side mirror out of alignment. (He could very easily have used the road or crossed to the other side of the street.) I was then forced to spend precious time readjusting my mirror.

I caught up to this person further down the block, lowered my window and berated him for his inconsiderate actions. The selfish scoundrel showed his true dangerous nature by making a threatening gesture towards me with his cane.

Most of these pedestrian types go about in the winter with foreign looking headgear and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them had connections to subversive political organizations. What I'd like to know is when will our politicians take action against this sort of cavalier disregard for the rights of personal property.

Mr. Harris made a good start banning those squeegee kids, but more needs to be done. Finish the job Mr. Eves-make this province safe for tax paying motorists. Ban pedestrians.