True heroes show their stuff when times are tough. And once again, a group of Ontario volunteers have heard the call and are prepared to risk their lives, to make this province debt free.

Premier Dalton McGuinty has called upon Ontario smokers to fight the Tory's $5.6 billion deficit, by raising the tax on cigarettes to almost 40 cents a but. Local puffers say their people will be hard pressed to consume the government's new quota of 14 billion cigarettes required to eliminate this debt.

Smokers say, though, they are confident it can be done. The rallying cry can already be heard on bar patios and factory parking lots, as smokers gather to share the camaraderie of their mission. As lighters and matches flicker, people all across Ontario are raising their glowing cancer sticks together and proclaiming their new motto. "Dalton," they shout, "This buts for you."

But not everything is rosy on Tobacco Road. Lots of people rag on smokers for their habit. "I know it's poison," one smoker says. "I know it's killing me and I wish I could stop." Non-smokers scoff and say it's a suicide thing. They want to kill themselves, so let them. Maybe a slow painful death gets them more sympathy than a bridge abutment at 160 km/hr.

Ex-smokers are often the least understanding. They chastise smokers for their vile addiction. "I used to smoke," says one source." Now I'm one of those obnoxious ex-puffers who nag their loved ones who still consume, and glare at anyone who asks if they can light up in my car or house."

For many of us who 'choose life' it's great to be able to eat in a restaurant or have a beverage in the local bar, without going home with the stench of tobacco on our clothes and hair. It's a relief not to wake up the next morning with a crusty nose and sore lungs and spend the day worrying whether we're permanently damaged from second hand smoke.

Other citizens complain that, with smokers forced outside, they see buts on the ground everywhere. "You sit on a park bench and they're littered like rat droppings all around your feet. They stick to the bottom of a person's shoes and end up on the carpet."

Then there's the goof who dumps his car ashtray out on the street. It lies there like a pile of dog excrement marking the puffers turf and proclaiming his right to leave his poison and anger anywhere he wants.

Some people point out the contradiction in government policy. On one hand Queen's Park is committed to discouraging tobacco use, and on the other they feed off a huge cash cow nobody with a vested interest wants to see die. And the higher taxes go, the more profit there will be in smuggling.

Until recently smoking has been an individual thing-a solitary pre-occupation. The lone cowboy's companion or a friend on a long walk home on a winter's night. Consolation to the sad guy at the end of the bar hunched over his beer.

Things have changed recently as anti-smoking legislation ostracized smokers from polluting communal air. Pass any business these days and you'll see people huddled together outside, puffing. They have become one of the provinces last abused visible minorities. Ironically they're outside in the fresh air, while the rest of us breathe the processed stuff that blows out of the vent.

One wonders how long it will be until smokers begin to act together in some sort of subversive way, reclaiming their rights. Ever notice how they huddle together talking in low angry voices? Do you ever see them inviting non-smokers to join their conspiracy?

How many smokers does it take to constitute an illegal gathering without a permit? And how long will it be until undercover agents infiltrate smokers' cells listening for subversive plotting? "What's with that new guy over there? He's holding a cigarette, except his fingers aren't all yellow and he never coughs."

How long before Turkish tobacco and Cuban Cigars become the new symbols of terrorist threat? Do Saddam Hussein and bin Laden smoke? Castro does!

Will puffers be the next group to be scrutinized by the authorities for terrorist connections? After all they all walk around with weapons. They all carry matches and lighters-each and every one a potential arsonist.