From:    "Bix Bigshot" <headhoncho@exploitationtv.com>

To:        "Paul Corman" <funink@msn.com>

Subject: Reality TV Show Outline

Paul: The whole creative team here at Exploitation TV is totally blown away by your idea. We agree, Reality TV is in desperate need of a 'reality check'. The market is wide open for an 'Idol Type' show, like the one you pitched us.

You are right. If we cut the fat that makes up the bulk of those other Idol Shows we're going to draw viewers. You've answered the question, "Why are these shows so popular?" The answer is that the audience wants to see the contestants publicly humiliated by the judges. All that singing and performing is just filler.

The real meat of the program is when the contestants are told they suck and are being kicked off the show. "Hey losers, you're going home!" The finale, where one winner is chosen, is anti-climactic compared to the pathos of rejection and public degradation the losers suffer.

The viewers eat it up. Hey when you're a young kid, working at a menial, demeaning job, with no benefits and no job protection, it's reassuring to see others agonize with self-doubt and despair. Better them than me. It's what my shrink calls a cathartic experience.

We've been doing some research. There's no doubt viewers are ready for more reality shows. Hey, they sat through Gulf War Two without complaining and it didn't even have a good music theme, like Rocky or Apocalypse Now. Scratch the music and our production costs go way down. Also the only 'performer' we have to pay is the one that's left at the end of the series. Man what a concept! The accounting department is way into the idea.

I see this project getting the green light in every way. I checked with my Astrologer and he says the Crab Nebula is rising in my air sign, my house needs minor plumbing repairs and I should never wear black shoes with a brown suit. To me that says winner, all the way.

As we see it, the project could easily develop into four one-hour episodes, in the 8 p.m. time slot, starting on a Wednesday and ending with a big finale Saturday night. Now that hockey is over, the beer accounts are looking for programming, so there's plenty of backing available. Also it means Don Cherry, (Mr. Humiliate Them on National TV), is available to be one of the judges.

Some other good news. The feedback from the focus group tells us that channel surfing is way down during reality show commercials. Viewers don't seem to realize it's a break until they're hooked on the Viagra ads. We think it's the shaky camera thing that fools them.

Just some suggestions. I personally like your title, 'Canadian Idiots'. Unfortunately the legal department thinks it's too close to that other reality show's name and they might think we're making fun of them. Also, viewers might be turned off, thinking it's something to do with the federal election.

We're toying with possible names for the series. 'Get Out of Here-Seriously, Get Out!' got a lot of votes, but personally I think it's way too many words for our target audience to remember.' You're Going Home, Loser' appeals to a lot of the team, but still too long. The one I like the best gets right to the point, with no wasted words, 'Humiliate Me'.

We did a test run on the concept using some kids we grabbed off the street. Here's a transcript of the tape.

Production studio. Back Stage. Hand held camera affect.

Narrator: "Hey, everybody ready for your big shot at fame and fortune?"

Male Contestant: I thought we were getting free pizza and soda. Where's the food?

Narrator: Later kid. Now I see some red eyes in the group. Everybody been practicing their crying? How about you?

Female Contestant: Yah. It's real easy for me to cry. My parents won't get me a cell phone. And if I'm out, like after 11 at night, my dad always comes and picks me up in this real old car he drives. My life is, like, totally embarrassing.

Narrator: That's a sad story. Well good luck. You never know, you just might be the lucky winner who gets to take her parents on an all expense paid trip to the next Elvis Impersonators Convention.

Cut to inside the theater. Male Contestant stands on stage looking bewildered.

Judge: Hey kid, where'd you get those clothes-a thrift store?

Other judges laughing.

Male Contestant: When do we get the pizza?

Judge: You know what kid, you're sad and pathetic! Me, me, me! That's all you kids think about these days. You're out of here. Hit the road, you're going home.

Contestant: Does this mean I don't get any pizza?

Cut to a shot of security escorting pizza guy out the back door.

Paul, we showed the tape to the focus group and they loved it. Which leads me to think about a whole bunch of follow-up rejection ideas.

A kid gets turned down for his first car loan.

Nerdy guy in a bar asking girls if they want to dance and getting the brush off.

Driver's car breaks down at a busy corner, in the middle of rush hour, and he asks other drivers for help.

Hack writer tries to sell a story idea to a TV Producer and gets turned down.Ha Ha! Just kidding.

Let's do lunchBix