I'm sorry I missed the Simpsons TV program where the US government made it illegal to possess or consume sugar. Friends tell me the show was a not too subtle spoof  on US marijuana laws. I can see the parallel.

Let me guess at a story line and the motivations of the major players. Lawmakers have decided that citizens are enjoying themselves way too much. The masses are so high on candy and cake that they've stopped being afraid all the time. How can order be maintained without a heightened sense of paranoia among the population?

Homer, always the misfit, decides to make chocolate chip cookies for the family. Now if you've ever had unsweetened chocolate you know it has the consistency of brown chock. So to cheer up the wife and kids Homer drives down to the Hood to score some sucrose.

Homer runs into a dude who says he can help him connect. Homey turns out to be with the Candy Control Commission and Homer gets busted. He spends the night in the slammer with a bunch of hairy guys with tattoos. After a generous contribution to his lawyer's retirement plan he ends up with a criminal record.

North of the border our very own 'retiring any day now' PM has chosen some cosmetic tweaking of our own vegetable consumption laws as part of his 'legacy to the nation'.

The plan is to decriminalize possession of small amounts of Mary Jane for personal use-while prosecuting the big guys who wholesale the product. The message is you can smoke it, if you can find it. Something like dad offering the car for a date, if you can hot wire it and steal it while he's not looking.

I spoke to one of the small cogs in the weed distribution system recently about the crack down on upper level management. 'An incredible opportunity for the small business man,' he said. 'With the big guys out of action it's like you own a hardware store next to a Home Depot, that just burnt down.'

He went on to describe what a great job the law does regulating the industry. If one group gets too big and starts to force all the little guys out of business, the cops come in and cull out the larger trees, so the little saplings have a chance to grow. That way there is always fresh new talent coming up through the ranks.

He pointed out that efforts by law enforcement to stop the supply of pot, occasionally lower the amount of product on hand, and drive the price up on the spot market. The price levels out, when competition regains equilibrium. It makes for good short-term profits-if you've maintained high enough inventory levels.

The mark-up on weed is enormous he told me. Marijuana is cheap and easy to grow. The major expense is transportation and security. Law enforcement takes a product that costs about the same to grow as broccoli and value adds fear of incarceration, to create a big-ticket item.

Mary Jane is a cash cow with many snouts dipping into the trough. The criminal class the law created enjoy a profit mark-up that is the envy of the retail industry.  Lawyers benefit (as they always do), cops get bigger budgets, and the penal system flourishes.

It's an uncertain industry though, my informant said. If someday they did completely legalize pot, people could grow their own and the price would plummet. So while his customers are hoping for some relief, my dealer acquaintance is anything but thrilled at the thought of legalization.

He expressed concern that decriminalization would eliminate the need for his trade. He'd wondered openly if there would be  funding available for retraining programs and whether there were openings for someone with his business background in franchising.

Although many of his skills were industry specific he felt there could be cross over advantages. He was good with cash, valued customer service, and knew better than most stock traders when it was time to cut and run.

But as ex-President of the US, Ronald McRegan so often pointed out, the market will determine demand. And as long as the public is buying, and consumption is illegal, some entrepreneur will find a way to fill the market need.

For now I'm stockpiling sugar. You just never know when the next market opportunity will emerge.