"The ice is melting," George Bush heard someone say. He opened his eyes and looked down into his glass. "Mine's OK," he said yawning.

"Mr. President we were talking about the Arctic ice melting because of Global Warming," Paul Martin said.

The PM sighed and glanced out his office window on Parliament Hill. He could hear some of his cabinet ministers quietly chuckling, behind him.

 "I don't know about that, but I could use a bit more soda pop. And have you got anymore of those pretzels. I sure like pretzels."

"Yes, Mr. President," Paul Martin said.

"And you don't have to be so formal, Paul. Call me anything you want. Just don't call me 'late for lunch'." George laughed until he choked on a pretzel. His wife slapped him on the back.

"Anyway there isn't any such thing as Global Warming. That's just an invention of those draft dodging Pinko's in New York City-who didn't vote to re-elect me. My ice is fine and so is the Arctic's."

One of the President's entourage leaned over and whispered in his ear. The President snarled at him. "I know we don't have a military draft yet. I'm talking about next year." Then he looked at the PM. "Any man won't fight for his country ought to be ashamed of himself. And I suppose you're going to let our draft dodgers into Canada, just like Peter Trudeau did?"

"I guess we'll make a decision on that when the time comes," the PM said. "The crisis we're facing right now is the affect of Global Warming on the Arctic."

"As I recall, we're drilling for oil up in all that unused land in Alaska," the President replied. "Warmer weather should make the job easier. I did a lot of wildcat drilling back when I was younger. That's dangerous work. A guy could loose somebody else's money, real fast."

"There could be lots of problems with the ice melting," the PM replied.

"Paul you got to start looking at the bright side of things. No ice means tankers can get in there and bring out that crude. My advice to you is invest in a shipping company."

"Eh..Thanks for the advise.…"

"No problem pardner. That one's free."

As the two men talked, a side door quietly opened and a woman slipped into the room.

"Mr. Bush. My name is Carolyn Parrish."

"Right pretty name little lady. While you're up, would you mind fixing me a fresh drink?"

"I don't happen to be a little lady!" Ms. Parrish snapped. "I am the Member of Parliament for Mississauga and self appointed spokesperson for all Canadians who think you're a stupid, dangerous person. I have a few things to tell you, that these spineless wimps are too afraid to say!"

"Feisty little heifer aren't you. I like that in a girl. Have you met my wife Laura? She doesn't look like it but she's a little wild herself. When we first met, she used to put me in a head lock and make me get down on my knees and pray that Jesus would come back, so the world would end and all the sinners would burn in hell."

"I'm sure nobody wants to hear those old stories, George," Laura said, digging him in the ribs with an elbow. "Besides, Ms. Parrish isn't exactly a big fan of ours. She's the one who's been saying all those nasty things about you. You remember, the one with the voodoo doll on television."

"Jehosifat girl! You're working with the devil, with that doll. Trying to cast a negative spell on me and all the things I'm doing to make this a better world, for all the hard working billionaires who contributed to my re-election."

"You mean this doll?" Carolyn asked. She pulled a small figure that looked like the President from her purse and thrust it in his face."

"Get that away from me! You harlot spawn of the devil!"

"You are an evil little man! If you don't stop, I’m going to twist the head off this doll," she shouted, grabbing the doll's head.

"Get away from my man!" Laura screamed diving at Carolyn. She had the Member of Parliament by the hair and the two struggled until they fell on the carpet. The men watched in horror as the two women rolled around screaming and scratching at each other.

"Get her Laura!" the President hollered. "Gouge her eyes out."

The Prime Minister and a couple of caucus members finally separated the two women and got them on their feet. Security people dragged Ms. Parrish from the room, screaming and yelling.

"Mr. President, I'm sorry about this," Paul said.

"Hey pardner it's OK. Did you see Laura whoop her? That Parrish girl had twenty maybe thirty pounds on her. You took her good honey. You still got the spirit."

Laura was straightening her dress. "That was kind of fun honey," she said with a grin. "She's tougher than John Kerry's wife."

"Tell you what Paul. Why don't we let your Mrs. and mine decide this Global Warming thing. Best out of three falls. Texas style-winner take all."

"I couldn't possibly."

"I'll throw in soft wood lumber."

"Let Canadian cattle into the US and you're on."

"Dang, I love negotiating," said the President.