George W Visits Ottawa     "Hey pardner it's OK. Did you see Laura whoop her? That Parrish girl had twenty maybe thirty pounds on her. You took her good honey. You still got the spirit."

Laura was straightening her dress. "That was kind of fun honey," she said with a grin. "She's tougher than John Kerry's wife."

 

Tree Wars     "What're you doing, George?" Paul asked his neighbor. "I'm defending my property from the axis of evil, " George replied. George was given to broad condemnations and bombastic accusations. He often used words that Paul knew he didn't really understand. George wasn't too bright which made him especially dangerous.

 

Iceberg Ahead    As the lifeboats pulled away from the sinking ship, Captain Kerry, Mr. Cheney and all the first class passengers looked back at the doomed vessel and drowning third class passengers.

 

World Series 2004       Boston is taking the field. John 'Slow Ball' Kerry pitching for them. He's a lefty who throws like he's a right hander. And of course Texas has George W Bush, who led them to a win, in the last playoffs."

 

Dr. Paul: Teen Advisor       Dear Dumb Son. There is no reason incompetence and stupidity should prevent you from succeeding in the business world. It didn't stand in your father's way.

 

Who's in Charge?     "OK," the Moderator says. "Let's forget who's first. What's second?" "Exactly," says George. "What’s second?" asks John. "That’s right," says George

 

Don Corleone and George   The Don looked over at his bodyguards in the corner and nodded. They stood up and adjusted the leather holsters that bulged beneath their suit jackets. "Georgio you know Vinny and Viscous. They have something they want to show you. I want you should take a little ride with them."

 

Texas Ranger George   It was a hot, dusty day when Texas Ranger George and his posse rode through the oil fields at the outskirts of Dagbad City. They were here to bring law and order to this remote corner of the world-even if they had to destroy it in the process.

 

Bin Laden Calling  The US Air Force F18 streaked in over the rooftops. They could see the pilot's face as he pulled the bomb release and banked sharply, dropping $400 thousand dollars worth of ordinance on the now empty house.

 

Bad Bugs From Burbank   Wanted: Set designer for big budget production, now shooting, in a Middle East country. Applicant must have experience creating realistic laboratory simulations. Previous experience working on a bio-threat thriller, like 'Outbreak', preferred.

 

Orange Peril     Are we becoming color blind. When Bush shows the Orange Panic Flag do we turn yellow so his pals can rake in the green?

 

 Nuclear War: The computer game    Join the fun as North Korea and Iran thumb their noses at the US because, now, they too have the big nuclear stick that renders them safe from US invasion. Lead the troops, as Exxon sends the US military to secure oil supplies in non-nuclear Iraq, because they can.

 

 Star Wars   I locked my laser on him and when he attempted to stuff the possible biological weapon through a slot in the building's door, I zapped him, toasting him and the deadly package.

 

Killer Toys   For the US President's Day, how about the ultimate Presidential toy-a thermal nuclear devise small enough to fit in a school bag. It could include an assortment of charred bodies laid out in grotesque positions and an atlas of the world minus all the capital cities.

  

 Nest of Snakes   No one can deny the Baghdad Viper has been biting some of his own nestlings and snapping at his neighbors, as well. But so far, herpetologists have failed to prove that Snakous Saddamas was indigenous to the late great Twin Towers-or involved in any other attacks on the Empire, in recent years.

  

Martin in a Bush    My people here tell me you're letting same gender individuals enter into the holy state of matrimony, which is in the eyes of God an A'-bomb a nation, situation! That's why we got nuclear can press and it'll blow up the whole world. He let's me keep it on my desk beside Ron Reagan's jellybeans. Show him Colin."

 

U.S. or Us?   It's good to know the US marines will be here to liberate Canada when Greenland invades us!